May 2013
Punch me in the mouth with ur mouth
tardisheart:
DO YOU EVER WANNA TALK ABOUT A THING SO MUCH YOU’RE GONNA EXPLODE BUT NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT THE THING SO YOU CAN’T AND JUST WOW! LET! ME! TALK! ABOUT! THE! THING!
thetremblingofmyhand:
My mom asked me to make cupcakes, so assuming they were for my family, I iced them white with supernatural-themed red demon traps and blood spatter and some of them even had Lucifer written in calligraphy-ish font.
But then I found out that the cupcakes are for a church bake sale.
Do you see how this might be an issue?
person: i can spend all day on the internet
me: do you have a tumblr?
person: no
me: do you read fanfiction?
person: no
me: I don't understand
iwilleatyourenglish:
iwilleatyourenglish:
once my baby was being really annoying so i put it in the basement but then i forgot and decided i didn’t want my basement anymore so i got rid of the door and then decided to do the rest later and when child protective services came they couldn’t get to my kid so they just wandered around my house
i’m talking about the sims please don’t call the...
Watchmy-magicalkingdom:
comatose-kitty:
I literally cant fucking breathe XD
knifefarty:
if i had the power to control time i would probably just use it to sleep more
babyferaligator:
r u one of my text posts bc ur really dumb and annoying
lameborghini:
for the perfect winged eyeliner, attach the wings of birds onto ur eyelids
grandkanye:
i put the me in shame
fefeferi:
when u accidentally hurt ur friends feelings and they insist that its fine but u know it isnt
dean-tacos-cas:
spookapple:
jackvessalius:
look what we have here
i have legitimately never laughed harder and for as long in my entire life
clubbedsoda:
oh yeah baby ignore me harder
elsenliberator:
jimbertimber:
welcome to tumblr dot com dont u dare make fun of gay people or people of color but feel free to make fun of vegans and white girls to the point that you are bastardizing them for doing nothing wrong !! remember we are all accepting here unless u are a vegan or white girl
or a christian or a hipster or a republican or p much anyone who doesn’t 100% agree...
akanedee:
if you ever call me annoying, even if it’s just jokingly, the chances of me ever speaking to you again are slim to none because I’ll be so afraid that every little word or sound that comes out of my mouth will aggravate you and make you cringe and hate my existence
saturgay:
roses are red
corbin is bleu
if u dont like high school musical
im not gonna fuck u
mowwwg:
“you can’t wear that!!!! people will get the wrong impression!!!”
the impression that i am a hot babe with an ass that just won’t quit???? honey that ain’t wrong that’s just fact
southeasternprep:
zillatamer:
letterstogodptiii:
tea-books-and-blankets:
yaygocats:
discomplete:
“i want to wear shorts because it’s hot but i really hate my legs” an autobiography
“I want to wear shorts but i didnt shave” the sequel.
“I want to wear shorts but I don’t tan and I’d rather not blind you” The trilogy
“I want to wear shorts but my huge dick always sticks out” a...
svveetlemonade:
me doing math homework
fartgallery:
if I start blushing and you yell “awww you’re embarrassed!!!!!” I will never speak to you ever again
jesuislegrandefromage:
emily-spectre:
psilentasincjelli:
C a r r y o n m y w a y w a r d s o o o o o o o n
T h e r e ’ l l b e p e a c e when y o u a r e d o o n e
L a y y o u r w e a r y h e a d t o r e e e e e e s t
D o n ’ t y o u c r y n o m o r e
FINALLY AN ACCURATE ONE
This is probably one of the reasons the rest of the world thinks we...
i remember way too many small details about people so i have to act dumb sometimes so i don’t freak them out
playdated:
(death metal scream) I DO NOT LIKE GREEN EGGS AND HAM
toadlyoko:
So in middle school we weren’t allowed to have any drinks aside from water but I kept sprite or the clear kool aid in a water bottle and felt like I was someone who made moonshine during the prohibition era.
autumnseeds:
why am I not one of those bloggers that attracts millions of anons every day